Friday Happy Hour Tutorial (Freedom Edition)

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology.

Another day, another dollar. But don't fret loyal readers, happy hour is soon upon us, and armed with the knowledge we've tirelessly gleaned from the cable feeds, you too can impress the ladies with your sports talk. Just our duty as loyal Americans. We here at TripleOT bleed red, white, and blue. Mostly red.

• Ironically, despite our loyal American fanbase, we are compelled to report on two major world sporting events that most Americans don't give a flying eagle about. The Tour de France is rocked with scandal and controversy, with news that the second, third, fourth, and fifth place riders behind ultimate patriot Lance Armstrong have been disqualified under suspicions of doping. For those of you who don't know, there's no hope with dope.
• With the world's five best riders no longer in the Tour, ratings are expected to drop. How does this translate into American English? You'll have to tune into BBC America to find updates. ESPN simply will not waste the resources so that 3 Americans and a handful of French ex-pats can get their fix.
• Ze Germans bested the Argentinians in the World Cup quarterfinals in a exciting round of penalty kicks. Of course, anything is exciting after sitting through a full game of soccer, and then an overtime period. In this instant gratification society that is America, we should make our own brand of soccer. It'll just be penalty kicks for 90 minutes. With two kickers and two goalkeepers simultaneously. This idea has promise.
• The Knicks are still a mess. The good news is, um, uh, I don't know. At least you can sleep easy knowing that if Isiah Thomas broke into your house, he'd go straight for the phone books and throw pillows, and ignore the shiny high end electronics that clutter up the place.

That's it from my end. Stay tuned on Monday for our views on how the NBA free agency turned out. Have a good Fourth of July, and remember that the Star Spangled Banner used to be a drunken bar song.

--EW