Friday Happy Hour Tutorial (Hangover Edition)

Uh, can someone get me some ice please?

I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty hungover from the awesomeness that was last weekend (and the fact that I've gone out drinking every night this week). My monitor is too bright, my co-workers are too loud, and my stools are too loose. TMI? Wouldn't be Trot without it!

• Barbaro is getting better! No, wait, he's getting worse! Now he's better again! Oh no, now he's worse! Now he's better! People are idiots. They'll care more about a horse than a human being. Roethlisberger didn't even get this kind of public concern/attention when he faceplanted into the side of a car.
• Speaking of Big Ben, the guy looks pretty good for someone who was seconds away from death. I thought he'd come out looking all Nip/Tuck pre-op with his missing teeth and broken nose and 9-inch head gash. Supposedly, this experience is supposed to make him a better quarterback. Mainly because he's already wearing a helmet.
• Fernando Vargas (pictured above) and Sugar Shane Mosley are having a rematch of their February 25th fight that demonstrated just how poorly Vargas is at keeping his left hand up. The swelling took three weeks to go down. Three weeks! And I thought being hungover at work for eight hours was bad. Vargas fired his cut man after that fight. That was probably a good idea.
• Marco Materazzi had to give a written statement to the FIFA board regarding his comments to Zinedine "The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou" Zidane. Again why no one in America cares about soccer: If you do something wrong, they haul you to the principal's office and it's one big "You started it! No, you started it!".
  
• People are riding bikes in France. No one is named Lance. A little poem for you, to brighten your day.
• Major League Baseball and the WNBA had their All-Star Games this week. No one at TripleOT cared.

That's it from me. Oh, and this one last thing that proves once again women are all crazy.

--EW