Monday Morning Cooler Talk (Long Weekend Edition)

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

And welcome back to TripleOT on this lovely day (and probably most hung over day of the year). I also hope everybody had a safe and fun holiday and I certainly hope the finale of your local fireworks show didn’t get rained out like ours. As a bit of consolation, it was nice to see some burnt orange fireworks in Dallas while the Texas fight song was playing on radio simulcast. Longhorns all over, I tell ya.

As for the long weekend, here’s what I deem important for you to read about:

• Despite the fact I swore off soccer and claimed it to be ridiculous and boring, the entirety of my sports watching this weekend consisted of the World Cup. Despite not watching the first 75 minutes of the England/Portugal match as well as the Italy/Germany match, I still managed to catch all the goals scored, and I thoroughly enjoyed what I saw. While I still don’t understand how soccer can be as popular as it is, it has secured its spot ahead of baseball and hockey in the list sports I enjoy watching. I encourage all fans of sports in general to catch at least one game. You might be surprised.
• Shoot outs in soccer are probably the single finest way to end a sporting event. However, did anyone see the last shooter for Portugal? He had this stutter step that totally threw off the German goalie. Is that cheating? If not, it should be. I liken it to a pitcher who does goofy shit and fake pitches before he really pitches – that’s just way too unfair for the batter/goalie. Something needs to be changed.
• One final note about soccer – what’s the deal with Germany quitting with thirty seconds left? I realize they were down two goals and the likelihood of knotting it up was pretty damn slim, but come on Germany, it’s not like you’re the Swiss or French. I’ve seen Reggie Miller drop eight points in less than nine seconds and T-Mac drop thirteen in like thirty seconds, so don’t tell me it’s 100% impossible, Germany. To just sit there and cry for the last thirty seconds? What the hell? What a bunch of quitters. You guys deserved to lose. I guarantee if America was even halfway competent in soccer, they would’ve pressed on.
• Okay, here’s the run down of free agency movement: Big Ben to Chicago, Peja and BobbyJax to New Orelans, Speedy to ATL, VladRad across the hall to the Lakers, Tim “TripleOT’s Most Hated” Thomas to the Clip, and Nazr Mohammed to Detroit. Players not moving: the Jet remains in a staying pattern above Dallas (HAR FUCKING HAR), Nene remains in Denver, Joel Przybilla remains a Trailblazer, and Matt Harpring stays in Utah for at least four more years. We’ll get into the implications of the player movement later, but suffice it to say New Orleans and Toronto seem like very exciting teams and Chicago has suddenly become a contender.
• Football is coming back soon. And Marlin Briscoe High School has some pretty sick starters in Mike Vick, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Brian Urlacher, as well as a promising backup quarterback in Matt Leinart. Coach Don Shula and assistant coach Urban Meyer have a great team this year, but that’s what you expect when your kids have parents like Deion Sanders and paperboys like Steve Young.
• Kobayashi FTW.

As for my non-sports thoughts of the week:

• Thanks for ruining the weekend North Korea. Sometimes you be like damn, why you so selfish North Korea? Why you gotta ruin my Fourth of July holiday with your missiles? Jackass. Just kidding future overlords! Just super-kidding America!
• Here’s all you need to know. Nike sample shoes on sale at outlets. Now. Well not so many in Hillsboro thanks to me.
• And for all the Austin readers: Pluckers sold out man, they sold out bad. You guys used to mean something to me, but not anymore. You’ve become the Blink 182 of my life, you corporate sellouts with your significantly smaller wings and your total lack of flavors. I thought we had something special.

Just three more days!

--CH