Monday Morning Cooler Talk

Tell me that's not awesome.  No seriously.  I dare you. 

Bono had those stupid ass World Cup commercials where he yammered on about how the beautiful game gives us temporary world peace – and he wasn’t totally incorrect. But now that the World Cup is over, the natural order of violence has once again resumed. That means Israel and Lebanon are at it hot and heavy, attacks in Iraq have resumed on a daily basis, and Keith Davis is once again getting his ass shot up. Well, it was a great month while it lasted.

• As I previously mentioned, Dallas Cowboys starting safety Keith Davis got shot a few times early yesterday morning (those things tend to happen when you’re still out at 5 AM). For those who don’t remember, Davis got shot a few times in 2003 outside a strip club (not even a good one…) and was subsequently released by the Cowboys. No word on what Tuna has to say about the most recent shooting. But I’ve got an inside source who says the Tuna is not pleased. And I don’t have an inside source. I’m just fairly certain Parcells sees past the bullshit of Davis’ story – Davis claims he was shot during a carjacking. Oh I forgot to mention, the shooter and Davis were both driving on the highway at the time of the shooting, probably traveling somewhere along the speeds of 70-80 mph. Ayo Keith, this ain’t ‘The Italian Job’ or some shit like that, nobody but nobody attempts carjackings on MOVING CARS.
  
• Barbaro is still alive. I’m still out of glue. I feel like these two statements could be resolved simultaneously. Chill people, he’s a damn horse. I won’t retract any unkind statements about Barbaro until he calls or emails me and asks me to apologize. I’m waiting HORSE…
• Managed to catch a few clips of the Mosley-Vargas fight and it looked about right from what you’d expect – Vargas charging in without abandon and Mosley sitting back and waiting for that left hook to connect. You better believe it did. I will agree with Bill Simmons or maybe one of his e-mailers - boxing is quickly on its way to a second-tier sport while UFC is moving its way up. I’d still put boxing ahead of ultimate fighting, but it’s going to be neck and neck real soon. I honestly don’t know of one other friend who keeps up with boxing other than keeping track of how crazy Mike Tyson is/will become.

Since there is dearth of sports news, I’ll expand on my non-sports thoughts for the week:

• Does anyone know why I can’t correctly connect my composite video cables and regular white/red audio cables to my HDTV? I have red, blue, green, red, and white from my DVD player to TV and I can hear audio, but I can’t see any video. What the hell gives?
  
• Uptown Bar and Grill is where Cain and Abel’s patrons go after they graduate UT and move back to Dallas, if you know what I mean. Dude literally had yellow pants, a white dress shirt, and a blue blazer on Friday night. Seriously captain dickwad, when it’s over 90 degrees and it’s nighttime, take off the fucking blazer. I know they keep it on in the J. Crew catalog, but the J. Crew catalog is set in Massachusetts, not Dallas in the middle of the sickest of all heat waves.
• Today’s high in Dallas is 105. Seriously. What. The. Fuck.
• Yesterday’s heat index was at 110. No, seriously. What. The. Fuck.
• Good to see Discovery back safe and sound. Astronauts are bad ass. You cannot dispute that.

Okay, on that awesome note, take it easy, drink lots of water, and lay off the liquor during the heat wave. That’s WJWD.

--CH