Games to watch

Yo, does the brotha in the second row play? You know, the big guy behind the two fags?

Overrated Game of the Week: Florida State at Miami
This was a glamour match up a few years ago, but the state of Florida has taken a considerable downturn as far as quality of football is concerned. It will be interesting to see whether quarterbacks Drew Weatherford of FSU and Kyle Wright of Miami can keep up the progress they made last year in their rookie campaigns. Not sure if 6’3” safety and super blue chip Myron Rolle will start, but I guarantee he’ll get some playing time. Wright’s not exactly the brightest bulb, and Rolle has already shown a real nose for the ball, so be prepared to witness the possibility of something Deion-esque. Or not. Regardless of Rolle’s, er... role in the game, the game will be a disappointment to the casual football fan who is looking for a matchup of the bigs. These are two storied programs, no doubt, but they’re definitely at the nadir of their pendulum right now.

Underrated Game of the Week: Baylor at TCU
You would think that as large as the state of Texas is, there’d be enough football to go around. Not so. There are basically only three dominant camps – the good, the bad, and the functionally retarded. I am of course speaking of the University of Texas, Texas A&M, and Texas Tech, respectively. But you know what team is surprisingly good (despite their aberration of a loss against SMU last year)? TCU. And you know what team isn’t the worst of the Big XII anymore? Baylor. Yeah, chew on that Iowa State. I am absolutely geeked about Guy Morriss’ improved Baylor team – they have absolutely bought into his Air Bear system and look to take the necessary steps to improve. Their spread offense should put points on the board and will make them relevant on the college football landscape. As for TCU, what can I say? Gary Patterson has built upon what Dennis Franchione (and to maybe a more significant degree, Ladainian Tomlinson) built. (As a side note, I’ll always be a quasi-TCU fan, if only because they started the mini-slide that OU is currently suffering through.) TCU has been a legitimate big time bowl contender and if they can keep their heads straight, they should once again contend for a BCS bowl bid this year. Football is a cyclical sport, but it’s rare you’ll see two teams with low-frequency oscillations that generally reside in the basement peak near their apex. And to see this rarity on the first week of the season? Yes, please. Plus, bonus points for this old SWC match-up. It’s been a decade since these former conference rivals met, so trust me when I say the crowd at Fort Worth will be rocking.

Game I’ll Watch: Notre Dame at Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech simply wins games they should lose and lose games they should win. I can’t think of a more maddeningly frustrating team in the entire NCAA. And who personifies the team the best? Their physically gifted yet bonehead quarterback Reggie Ball. But with the ever-increasing dominance of Calvin “Put Anything Up There And I’ll Bring That Shit Down One-Handed” Johnson, Ball will have some serious weapons. Plus, the Ball-Johnson duo is nearly as funny as the second string big men duo on my basketball team (Wang and Peck). But to get back to my point, despite the plethora of douchebags that come out of Georgia Tech (Starbury, I’m looking at you…), I honestly hope they pull off the upset.

Here’s why I hope Georgia Tech wins. Notre Dame is already America’s second favorite college team and they have the big names in Brady Quinn, Jeff Smzardidjaiaja, and Tom Zbikowkmbkowsi, so your average white American college football fan will be rooting for these guys hard. When was the last time the best receiver, quarterback, and defensive player were all white? That sort of stuff doesn’t even happen in West Texas anymore, much less on a top five ranked college football team. I’m really not ready for a full season of quasi-football fans jumping on the Great White Hype that is Notre Dame along with the ESPNBJ that’s already in full-swing. This paragraph quickly deteriorated into a big FUCK YOU to Notre Dame. Sorry for letting that one slip away. Zuh-oh, better stop writing.

-CH