Monday Morning Cooler Talk (CFB is back and Tiger never left Edition)

"I wish golf were difficult."

Welcome all! Triple OT is back in full swing because yes, you called it, real sports are being played again. Baseball, you had your moment in the spotlight, but it’s time to get back into your fucking cave. Football’s back in town and it’s looking for a party. Hey football, it’s me, Triple OT, we’re having a KILLER party. We invited all the chicks we know, we got a keg of Bud Ice, and more Bacardi than the eye can see. Hell, I’m even cleaning out Ol’ Throat Molester, you know, my beer bong with a sixer-capacity. It’s gonna be awesome.

• Although Ohio State’s defense looked shaky Saturday, its offense looked absolutely dominant against Northern Illinois. If you want to interpolate that data to next week’s matchup against Texas, you can say that Ohio State’s defense is severely boned, while their offense is relatively untested against a true defense. But it’s probably best to not read too much into the first game (more on that later).
• The best way to look at Ohio State is to look at them as a Texas-lite, one year removed. Ohio State really came together at the end of last season and had a coming out party at the 2006 Fiesta Bowl, much like Texas really came together at the end of the 2004 season and had a coming out party against Michigan in the 2005 Rose Bowl. Even the progress of Troy Smith closely mirrors the progress of Vince Young. The comparison isn’t exact, mind you, as Young never had a weapon like Ted Ginn Jr., and Troy Smith will never be as talented as Vince Young. The two teams are somewhat paralleled though, and their matchup next Saturday will certainly be interesting. I will note that Ohio State has yet to really face a defense with the speed that can keep up with them. Expect Troy Smith to be contained by the linebackers and know that Ted Ginn Jr. is going to be hesitant to run across the middle the first time Michael Griffin lays him out. Another advantage that Texas has is that its defense has practiced against Vince Young before, so they’re accustomed to containing a very mobile quarterback.
• Notre Dame looked real bad didn’t they? I mean, the media is going to want to praise Charlie Weis and Brady Quinn for going into Atlanta and beating a difficult Georgia Tech team, but let’s call a spade a spade: the #2 team in the nation had a damn difficult time defeating an unranked team. How come when OU struggles against UAB the look a lot worse than their #9 ranking, yet Notre Dame somehow eeks out a win, they really showed their true colors and tenacity? I’m calling BS on the Golden Domers and penciling them in as a 10-2 this year.
• USC really did just reload huh? Either that or Arkansas has the worst-conditioned athletes in the nation.
• I remember sitting on the IF bus my senior year and reading the Daily Texan’s take on Colt McCoy. I thought to myself, “Seriously? They’re going to let this kid take a snap of D-I football? Won’t he die out there?” What a difference a redshirt year, a team loaded with talent, and a hapless North Texas defense can do for one’s perception. McCoy looked very crisp in UT’s home opener, completing 12-19 passes and throwing for 178 yards and 3 touchdowns. Probably more than anyone can really hope for from a kid named Colt out of Jim Ned High School.
• Seriously, there was way too much college football on Saturday. What a proverbial punch in the neck.
• To be honest, you really can’t read too much out of the first week of football. I think I’ll reserve judgment on the college football season until at least the second week, after all the teams make adjustments and really iron out any kinks. For me to go off and say Tennessee is back in national title contention or that Cal is in for a long season would be hyperbolic and incorrect. But this much is true, ERIK AINGE IS AWESOMEEE!!1!
• Team USA finished the World Championships with a bronze medal. Not really what they came to Japan for, but I think the Americans should be happy with that and take it. If anyone watched any of games, it was painfully obvious that the Americans were depending too much on outside shooting (understandable against a well-versed zone defense) and didn’t have enough shooters. They reminded me a lot of the 2003 and 2004 Dallas Mavericks who lived and died by the three point shot. When the three point shot is falling, a team that plays that way can be dominant. When it’s not, well, you end up with a bronze. A couple weeks ago I mentioned that the international game is starting to resemble the NBA, and I think the bronze medal match between the US and Argentina was a perfect example. I think America’s best course of action is to keep bringing in the big international superstars into the NBA and taint their game with the NBA’s style of self-involved individual matchups. That or GET SOME FUCKING SHOOTERS on Team USA.
• Tiger Woods continues his mindfuck of the competition after starting the Deutsche Bank Championship Monday three shots off the lead Vijay Singh’s lead and needing only three holes to erase the lead. Tiger had two eagles in the first seven holes. That’s fucking scary. Dude doesn’t gain on you one shot at a time like normal people, he gains on you two shots at a time. Vijay didn’t exactly play the greatest golf, but he shot a more-than-serviceable 68 that would’ve won any tournament that didn’t involve Tiger. For those keeping score at home, that’s five straight tournament wins for Tiger Woods and seven total for the year. No other golfer has more than two wins this year.
• After deciding to come back his senior year and hoping to improve to the best running back in the nation, Louisville’s Michael Bush is probably regretting his decision. With the game probably in the bag and Bush having solidified a very dominant first half (124 yards rushing, 3 TDs), Bush was horse-collared and his leg buckled underneath him, breaking in two places. I am really not sure why college and professional football hasn’t just outright banned the horse-collar tackle. It’s a pretty filthy way to tackle someone and completely disruptive to one’s body. Every year they tweak the horse-collar rule, and every year I see blatant horse-collar tackles that look so unnatural it makes me cringe. It’s time somebody changes this bullshit.
• Florida State versus Miami. Total rushing yards? THREE. Yeah, that was Monday night-worthy.

As for my non-sports thoughts of the week:

• I have tenth row tickets to UT-Ohio State. That was somewhat sports-related, I know, but I mostly wrote it to make you jealous.
• After watching it again last night, I can safely say ‘Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle” is pretty much the greatest cinematic experience of all-time. The list stands as: Harold and Kumar, Godfather, and Band of Brothers. No I will not argue this. The list has been made and it is so.
• I had the same reaction to Steve Irwin’s death as I did when I found out Lance Bass was gay. These are things I should see coming, and these are news events that don’t really shock me. I mean, we all pretty much knew Irwin wasn’t going to die from any natural causes. Sure the stingray was a little unexpected, but you knew it was going to be an animal of some sort. My next obvious news tragedy is that Steve-O kills Johnny Knoxville or vice versa in some ridiculous stunt gone wrong. Just remember who called it first.
• Facebook got twice as creepy today. I like it.

Alright guys, let’s keep it locked on Trot – updates becoming fast and furious and moist. Yes, moist.

--CH